Tuesday, December 29, 2009
情非得已只怕我自己会爱上你
不敢让自己靠的太近
怕我没什么能够给你
爱你也需要很大的勇气
只怕我自己会爱上你
也许有天会情不自禁
想念只让自己苦了自己
爱上你是我情非得已
Labels: So many feelings that words can't describe.
| a simple day. 12/29/2009 10:58:00 PM
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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
State of confusion.. I hate it. When i dunno y am i so upset abt. N i can't talk abt it becos i can't figure out wad is it.
Juz nid a shoulder to lean on.
Can i borrow 1 without being ask y?
Labels: So many feelings that words can't describe.
| a simple day. 12/22/2009 09:31:00 AM
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Saturday, December 19, 2009
利用。。
人是很奇怪的动物。常常口不对心。
曾经觉得其他在利用你的人可能现在也在利用你。
曾经叫别人不要伤害你的人 很可能是在下一秒是伤你最深的那一个。
希望友谊是真的。
希望我不再是笨的那一个。
希望我的友谊不是被利用的。
Exams are finally over.. Will be leaving for our juniors' grad camp soon.. Cross fingers tht everything will go well.
Labels: =(
| a simple day. 12/19/2009 05:52:00 AM
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Thursday, December 17, 2009
加油..Really in need of motivation to move on this whole wk.. finally synergy is over.. full force on sch work.. study is my priority now. (Like.. it should have been rite fr the start..)
A song written and finished on plane by JJ Lin.. Heard fr 93.3 fm that he wrote this song to motivate friends around him.. to dun give up in hard times.. It's a meaningful song.. so true.. when alot of us have been saying this to ourselves too.. for my friends out there studying, working or with probs.. Jiayou =)
加油! - JJ Lin (featuring MC HotDog)最近你好吗 少了一点微笑
说的话有点少
最近我也不好 全世界都在逆转
人开始反向思考
发现你爱的人到处跑
昨晚刚升职 今天被炒
莫名其妙 谁会知道
是不是上天开的玩笑
地震时 你想和谁拥抱
什么是生命中的美好
轻易放掉 却不知道
幸福就在下一个转角
说一声加油 一切更美好
所有的悲伤 请往边靠
曾经流过的泪 湿了伤口就让
阳光晒干而褪
这一种加油 人人都需要
手牵手我们一起赛跑
说好不见不散 每分每秒守候你到老
The beat goes on
时间它一直走
就像是Life goes on
这过程或许痛
不管顺流或逆流 你总得抬起头
让我们一起走 走过艰难和困惑
关关是难关 但我们关关过
雨后天晴的阳光在天空闪闪
所出现了彩虹 忽然间我们才懂
如果这是一场马拉松 那我们一起加油
在白色气球上许了好多愿望 。
但我不贪心，只希望为你许的愿望会实现。
好想念礼拜五的晚餐。好想念。
Labels: 思念， 有时是隐形的。
| a simple day. 12/17/2009 06:24:00 AM
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Motivation.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds seems low and the debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every1 of us sometimes learns
And many a failure has turned about
When they might have won had they stuck it out
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering one.
Often the struggler has given up when they might have captured the victor's cup
And they learned too late when the night slipped down
How close they were to the golden crown
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint to the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the task when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem the worst that you must not quit =)
Labels: Motivation to move on.
| a simple day. 12/16/2009 06:18:00 AM
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
我要学会如何为自己而活。
| a simple day. 12/15/2009 01:42:00 AM
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Sunday, December 13, 2009
Our big event.. After 5 mths of preparations, meetings & planning, the big day finally came. SYNERGY - NYP Adventure Race (Pure Endurance) was carried out on 12th Dec 2009.
We had to keep mum about the whole plan for these past few mths just in case any info leak out. To create element of surprise.
Team admin and checkpoint 1, 2, 3 camp over at changi beach yesterday nite whereas the rest checkpoints went over to ubin and obs respectively.
Set up our basha the moment we reach. It was quite difficult as the wind was blowing very furiously.. 1 of our basha ring hole almost tore apart.. of cos eventually it was set up though still nt very wind proof. Secret pal went to set up his "holely smiley face" (hammock) between 2 trees then we went off to "da bao" dinner at changi village hawker center. Guess we were the luckiest grp becos we get to eat good food in a cool environment with nice scenery - the sea and the sky of stars. =) 4gt to take spoons for our nasi lemak (bought from the famous stall) so in the end some of us had to eat with hands. It was secret pal's 1st time and he had to ask ikhsan how to eat with hands.. yeye very pro, finish the fastest.. lol.. luckily we had the plastic stools as tables.. gathered ard in the basha eating nasi lemak was fun and "wen nuan" (warm).. like a big famili lidat. Lol.. though it was actually VERY cold.
After dinner went star gazing for a while. It was very very nice there becos the whole sky was full of stars.. i counted 31.. coincidentally, there are 31 teams 2mr.. haha.. maybe the stars were hanging there for them? =)
9.30pm we had 1st aid lessons with secret pal.. Learnt RSE, Dr ABC, Level of Consciousness, AVPU, DABC, Rapid Body Survey and blunt, sharp, sharp blunt.. lol.. the lesson should be a serious 1.. but becos some cannt tahan the itchyness so became very funny.. we get to practise on each other the skills we learnt.
Lesson ended at 11 plus. Went to see "bapos" and visit och.. finally slept at 2 plus..
Preparation starts at 7am. I'm doing registration at tht time. Thanx to yeye, secret pal, fiq, ikhsan & khaizurah who are helping me at the reg pt., didn't mk much mistake, didn't panic. Everything was cool. Went over to obs the moment we receive news tht the 1st team is finishing.
Set up secret pal's and my comp to do the timing. This was the part tht i'm scared becos i've not done this b4. Secret pal helped me at first till i gt the hang of it. I'm running in between the finish pt and the timing area to key in finishing time. It's not as rush as the timing for usual runs as teams came in 1 by 1 and not in a whole grp.
Finally the day ended with annoucement of results, lucky draws, goodbyes to the racers..
Thots at the end of the dayMy 1st time doing admin stuff for races.. Didn't know that there was so many things to do.. becos i am always in the front line.. nvr work behind the scenes b4 esp the timing side. Sending of numerous emails.. creation of various nominal rolls.. changing of info etc. There are times i really regretted in landing myself in this hot soup. Becos on top of these i have my projs and reports due. N a few of them are over due. Scared tht i may get retain in my last yr. I'm so frustrated that i can't seem to get things right. But on the race day itself, i find everything worth it. This is the 1st time i get to see what's at the end of a adventure race from an organiser point of view. Get to see the whole flow of event. For the past yr, i've been assigned to a checkpoint and by the time i get to the end, alot of racers had alr completed the race.
What's so satisfying at the end point? The victory smiles on finishers.. the new found friendships.. the hugs.. nt forgetting the cramps, pain, tireness yet still laughing and joking racers.. Hearing wad they have to say abt various checkpoints..
There's 2 teams of ppl whom i really admire alot. Team 20 - Very on! Lol.. they are 3 ppl who dunno each other and only know they are going to race 3 days b4.. no prep, no training, 1st time they meet each other was during race day! Another team was Team 26 - Rockstar. Ai Kim, Lyliana n Betrand! Chemistry built up during the race and both teams completed the race in quite a fast time =)
I haven thank a person during debrief. N tht's my "ah tau" (head), secret pal. Cos he really tolerated me alot alot during these period of time. As well as help me "carry" some "load" n giving me advises along the way. THANK YOU AH TAU =)
Suddenly felt a separation from my club. Like i have nth to do with it alr. Leaving is a matter of time. I know. No matter is now or when i graduate from this sch.. But there's juz this feeling of 不舍得.. like suddenly my life will be empty..
我不想跟你们毫无瓜葛。
我不想跟你们没有关系。
可是好像没选择...
Labels: So many feelings that words can't describe.
| a simple day. 12/13/2009 09:37:00 PM
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Friday, December 11, 2009
彻底的放弃了。。
Physically, i can tk it. Mentally, i can't. I really can't. Maybe.. juz maybe i'm giving up this last 2 mths..
I'm reaching the dead-end.. soon.
| a simple day. 12/11/2009 12:52:00 PM
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Monday, December 7, 2009
My 2nd 42km..
"If the path I chose have signs leading to dead-end, I will pray for strength to continue walking till I physically reached the dead-end."
I like this sentence. Saw this statement on 1 of my food science friend's fb status. It's also a sentence in my mind while running the marathon. Not to say running a marathon is a dead-end.. It's just pain that makes u feel that u're dying..
The dying "feel" was experienced during sundown this yr. Most probably due to insufficient training and partly due to abrasion as i wasn't wearing tights that time. Luckily there's qy by my side encouraging me along the way.. else i couldn't have made it.
This time round, 42.195km was done early in the morning. Was expecting hot, scorching sun but God was good to us. It wasn't raining yet there wasn't much of a sun. The weather was cool. Nice day to run. It was only at my last hour tht the sun started burning. No over-head bridges to cross. No abrasion becos i'm wearing tights. More motivation as i had my mp3 along as well as yan chang and turtleshell by my side. Nt to 4gt the msgs sent to me to wish me lucks.. thanx alot.
I wore the same singlet that i would always wear for runs - blue campus rd run singlet. It seem to be my lucky "charm". 42km was like a final yr paper to me. N all my trainings for the past few months are like tutorials and practicals. I want to know how well i can score this time having juz scrape through the last 1..
Satisfied to say that i've improved alot from my last "exam". Completed in 5hrs 21mins. Improvement of 1 hr 10mins. The 1st person i msg was QY.. becos we did our 1st full marathon together. =) She's the 1st person i want to share my happiness with.. =) Should be happy. Ya, I'm happy cos of the sense of achievement but at the same time felt a bit empty.. becos ahead, there's no more runs for me.. it's juz tht sudden feeling of lost i guess.. nth to look 4ward to anymore. Maybe it's the ppl, maybe it's the race.. i dunno.
Nite out with Adc-ians..The day before the marathon i was still fredding. But becos of alot of frens ard, my tension lessen. Went for guitar lesson again at qy's house with secret pal. Learnt new rhythm of strumming and a new yet cliche song - lemon tree =)
After the guitar session, went to have dinner with some of my juniors, secret pal and qy =) Used up 6 of pastamania's voucher. Had a wide variety of dishes.. pizzas, pastas, baked rice, baked pasta, chocolate mousse, apple crumble and 2 bottles of cheese.. lol.. all these were shared among 6 of us in a table as well as jokes, laughters, stories, quizzes.. =) Didn't dare to eat too much cos scared the next day cannt run. Lol.. but still enjoyed alot alot.
Did alot of stupid things after dinner. - Edmund went to ask the sales person how much does the shirt a manikin was wearing when the shop was actually selling travel luggages.. lol.. After which we went to mrt station to wait for the rest.. a few of us were like pretending to look upwards, like there's sth on top (actually there isn't).. 1 of our juniors used his camera to video how many ppl will follow us and look on top. Result: ALOT! HAHAHA =p Had a great time laughing with them. We are really a crazi bunch of ppl..
Went up to the top of esplanade.. the view on top was exuberating.. alot of buildings were lited with colorful lightings. Roads were decorated with shiny x'mas lightings. Sat there with weixuan, ain etc.. singing and counting the floors of Maybank building.. very very warm =) Learnt a new song.. which i sang along the way with yanchang during the marathon - I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic =) Lol..
12.45am, all of them left as they have to report for volunteer side.. left me and haidar.. we went to sleepover at a shelter below esplanade.. didn't get much sleep though.. this time it's not becos of excitment, not becos of anxiety.. my heart has quietened down. No longer anxious about the long dist. But still can't sleep. Whole mind was thinking.. thinking alot of things..
我们。。
也许已经慢慢的变成陌生人。。
慢慢的。。。话题少了。
也许过了今天以后就没有再见的理由。
希望今天过得慢一点。
| a simple day. 12/07/2009 09:52:00 PM
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Saturday, December 5, 2009
A whole day of rushing.. rushing of reports.. rushing of nominal rolls.. even nw i'm rushing ppt slides..
Class was like war today.. or should i say nowadays.. most prob due to the footsteps of common tests ard the corner.. shooting questions at tutors.. copying of lecture notes.. have to carry bigger bag to sch as laptop, lib books is needed to do reports, assignments.. every sec seems so precious now.. taking a breather now.. yr 3 sucks right to the core.. =( The diploma is so near yet so far.. wish tht i dun have to continue anymore but still.. muz persevere on..
After all the classes, the tension in me was finally taken away by the excitement of our upcoming adv race.. for tht 2 hrs i even 4gt tht i have a long run to complete in 48 hrs time..
I'm still scared. Scared of the distance. Scared of dragging ppl down.. scared tht others cannt complete their personal best becos of me. It's always easy to say "Believe in urself." But when the actual situation sets in.. it's very difficult to put words into actions..
Gt scared by turtleshell's sudden appearance juz now.. maybe gt counter-effect.. 20% of fear gone.. nt so scared le.. lol..
Uncle jj, princess and bong mk us laugh like mad during dinner today.. lol.. another 20% of fear gone as well.. nt so scared le..
Briefing early in the morning. *Still tinking..* Guitar session with qy n secret pal.. Dinner with adcians.. Camping overnite with 1/2 of my family members near padang 2mr.. then meeting yc, yy, kb in the morning.. really hope all will go well.. pls dun give up, j.mf..
Ok. Get back to work now.
| a simple day. 12/05/2009 02:23:00 AM
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