Sunday, May 31, 2009
Finished my virgin 42.195km race with dragonfly, yanchang, yeye n aunty =) 1st of all muz thanks all the peeps who sent their well wishes.. Loretta, Sock, YY, Bert, xiao jing, haslinda n frens n the CA2 team b4 they left for home.. n lots more.. (Sori, if i missed out any.. ur well wishes are appreciated =))
Reached the event ground ard 7.45pm to see the CA2 team off.. was a bit late but at least still can send them off.. saw haslinda n her bf at a shelter so joined them while waiting for dragonfly to arrive.. Sent haslinda n frens off for the women's 10km too.. then waited at the finishing point of 10km for lifegurard, secret pal, taufu n clara to come back.. wanted to take pic of them 1 but was caught unprepared when they suddenly appeared.. secret pal still took my hp over to tk a snapshot..but he dunno hw to use my hp..so haiz..nvm.. it was quite scary to see ppl fainting fr juz the 10.5km.. i was thinking, "Omg, then wad abt us?" Haha..but some of the quotes i read last nite drove this bad feeling away.. Soon dragonfly came. We exchanged fd to eat while waiting for yanchang to come.. (Nasi briyani vs fried banana) Actually haven being carbo loading.. partially scared wun burn off n partially seem to lose appetite alr nowadays.. Even yesterday juz had 5 pcs of bread n a fried banana the whole day cos was sleeping almost for the whole day.. haha.. the nasi briyani was a saviour man..
After yanchang, aunty n yeye reached, we warmed up a bit , deposited our bags, went to toilet then went to the starting point. We were a bit late, started off at 12.12am.. (supposedly to start at 11.59pm) The 1st 10km was an easy run..after all we've been running tht distance quite often.. reached the 10km mark ard 1hr 10mins n dragonfly was like,"We are too fast!" Cos we targeted to maintain a pace of 10km/1.5hr.. till 15km we were still fit n running.. saw 1 of my volunteers during synergy, bert's fren, sorry, 4gt ur name.. chatted a while wif him then we made our way off again.. caught yeye in front of us combing his hair wif hands again.. haha.. running marathon still can maintain image..sia lah.. pro guy.. saw sindhu at the 19km mark too.. we took almost 3hrs to get out of changi n ecp.. 21km mark we finally turn out of ecp via the bridge to vjc.. the signs at every km seems further n further away fr each other.. after the 23rd km we were like searching for the 24th km board but it nvr seem to appear.. eventually it did lah.. counting n pointing at every km signs were sort of motivation for us.. everytime i say "We are at xxkm alr!" Then dragonfly will reply wif a firm "Yup." Everytime dragonfly point out another km sign i will give a nod. This goes on n on. The 100 plus at further stations gets more n more concentrated.. almost choked at drinking it the 1st mouth.. their way of distributing 100 plus was also.. ahem.. all of the runners juz dip their cups into the tankful of 100 plus along wif their hands.. the rest i dun think u guys would like me to elaborate.. surprisingly this race i drank at every stations.. the drink stations were spread out quite well.. for every 20mins or so we are sure to have a drink to hydrate ourselves.. though we also get stiches fr it..it was at the 30km tht my legs almost gave way.. had to sit down a while.. me n dragonfly shared a banana tgt then grab a power gel each n continued our race.. fr the 30km mark onwards we were walking most of the time.. cos the pain is really excrutiating.. i almost cried out when reaching the 38km sign.. at tht moment, i hd mixed feelings for my legs.. one thot was to juz chop it off.. haha.. n the other was to tell it,"I will tk better care of u after this race." =p Luckily dragonfly was there wif me.. we kp taking "landmarks" such as water points, lamp posts, shell stations, traffic lights as our aim to run towards to then stop n walk for a while.. oh..4gt to mention, we actually saw a green shooting star across the sky at bedok reservoir n dragonfly quickly made a wish tht we will reach by the 7th hr.. well.. i made a wish too.. the last few km we were alr nt walking straight, nt to even mention run.. when we saw the 40km sign we were like.. so we started running.. the route back to changi village had a lot of ups n downs n the pain in our legs elevated as we were literally ramming our feet against the ground as we went down small slopes.. 41km.. an old man who was running the ultra marathon shouted to us, "Last km, chiong ar!" Seriously, motivation in me began to build up again. In my mind i was thinking, "Woah, he's older than us, still so energetic at the end, hw can i be so demoralised.." (It was after the race tht we realised he was running the ULTRAMARATHON! cos he was wearing a blue tag..omg..) We finally saw the bridge leading towards changi beach park n we thot we juz had to cross the bridge to finish this race.. but nope..juz when we were at the starting of the bridge, the volunteers told us to turn right.. oh gosh.. the bridge cheat our feelings.. haha.. muz emphasize on the 0.195km.. we were still jogging n as we approach the finishing line, dragonfly said, "We chiong ok?" . I nodded. N we ran pass the finishing line!!!! =D We finally finished the gruelsome 42.195km w/o limping through the finishing line =) Was so elated tht i almost cried. We were like hugging each other so tightly at the end.. We have survived =D We finished the race in 6hrs 35mins.. though we may nt be fast, at least we have the guts to tk the challenge on rite? =p "Most ppl run a race to see who's fastest. We run the race to see who has the guts." =)
This race tells me a lot of things. 1stly, my limit is at about 30km.. for nw at least. Anything beyond tht my arch will be gone.. 2ndly, nw i understand hw ppl felt when we are running wif them n cheering them on.. no matter it's juz a 2.4km run or a 15km adv race.. each individual has their own limits n wad we've felt during the last 5km of this race was like what they feel during their last round on the track.. it's nt a matter of distance to mk a person cry but the limits tht each person has. 3rdly, training b4 a race is very impt.. i couldn't even walk properly after the 1st time i sat down after the race. This is a lesson learnt. Though i'm nt sure i will be gg for another 42.195km in the near future.. maybe till i've trained n mk sure i can tolerate the pain.. (guess tht wun be anything w/n these 5 yrs..)
After the race went to changi village to have breakfast with qy n lynn.. cos nt enuff seats so sat separately fr yc, yeye n aunty =( There was crowded like fish mkt sia.. dragonfly was famished.. still can rmb her kping saying, "hen er, hen er, hen er.." n me, "hen tong hen tong, hen tong.." Haha.. i couldn't eat anything till in the evening then i felt the hunger..juz drank sugarcane.. dragonfly n lynn ate the wanton mee there cos the international nasi lemak was closed. After tht we each took different bus home..
Last but the most important, THANK YOU QY!! for running this race wif me.. though i've said this many many times alr.. but w/o u i dun think i can mk it to the end.. Thanx for everything.. Sharing water, 100 plus, banana throughout the race.. nt 4gtting the jokes, motivation, "blood" n sweat. =) N thanx to bert's fren too..though i still dunno ur name.. thanx for the encouraging words when u sometimes pass us n nearing the end.. =D
A long long post.. till then.. =)
| a simple day. 5/31/2009 09:59:00 PM
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Saturday, May 30, 2009
In exactly 21 hrs time i will be running my 1st full marathon. Another 1st wif dragonfly. Once asked by wise man that isit more proud to finish running a marathon limping or to finish it still standing strong becos u've trained for it? Obviously it's the latter. Honestly speaking, i haven being training enuff n right for this marathon. Before wise man ask me this, i had this mindset of juz run the race. Juz run n finish it. Sometimes it's nt juz "Ok, set." Then we go for it. Had being trying to run 10km everyday since last wk. Mon was fine. Tue, a bit pain in the arch. Wed morning i couldn't even move my legs in the morning. Ran 2 rounds in the afternoon n stopped becos my arch was really hurting. Thu, went 10km wif dragonfly. Fri went last training again for rp race. Sat rp race 15km. Sun 10km walk passion run. It wasn't during the runs but mostly the nxt morning n sometimes in the nite tht the pain set in. This wk i practically didn't run at all as my left leg alr start to hurt somewhere between the calve and heel. Didn't want to injured my legs b4 sundown. It was then i had to admit to myself that i had started the training too late. Now i'm mentally preparing myself for the race, though nt much can be done too as i've nt ran such a long dist. before. 1 comforting fact is tht : i've cycled the whole path with old man n buddies b4 n 1/2 wif dragonfly n missies. At least we know hw the path is like n the memories may kp us gg. Cross fingers tht we will survive. Some quotes i find meaningful on marathoners' blogs..
1. Good things come slow - especially in distance running.
2. Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes his mind
to do. We are capable of greater than we realize.
3. He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.
4. Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to
be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?
5. I still bother with runners I call hamburgers. They're never going to run any record times, but
they can
always fulfill their own potential.
6. Most men take the straight and narrow. A few take the road less traveled. I chose to cut
through the woods.
7. There's no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.
8. You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can't know what's
coming.
9. Most people run a race to see who's fastest.
I run a race to see who have the guts.10. Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it."
11.
The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.I like 5, 9 n 11 best. 5 becos i think i'm 1 of the hamburgers =p Haha..it's a bad thing yet it's becos i dun have the pressure to break any records tht i can juz tell myself to complete the race slow n steady, to juz hit my own target, tht is to complete the race. 11 becos pain is sth tht we all will need to endure during the race but the essence of a marathon is nt 100% on hw fast u can complete it but hw u overcome this pain. It's juz like a saying,
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." Well, all i can say is wish me n dragonfly gd luck =) We need all the wishes!!! N Yanchang also =) Hope we can be the 1s still standing strong after the race =)
Blue spidy juz interpreted a fact fr a few happenings - tht it doesn't have a mind of its own. Actually it's ez to tell tht it's very ezily influence by wad others say. A says this, blue spidy will decide to do. Another moment B says this is nt rite, blue spidy changes its mind. Blue spidy needs to mk its own decisions, needs to stand on its 8 legs itself n do wad it deem is rite. Its fate lies in its own hands n nt the others. Maybe at times it need advices but at the end of the day it still have to mk the decision itself. Blue spidy used to think its useless. Actually it juz lack of confidence in itself. Instead of drowning itself in self-pity maybe it should do sth abt it to mk itself more useful. Superman will nt always (or doesn't really) exist in neverland cos he is occupied in pooh's land. So blue spidy should learn to stand on its own 8 legs n have its own characteristic. Nt shape itself into wad others want it to be becos then blue spidy wun be blue spidy alr.
| a simple day. 5/30/2009 02:59:00 AM
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Friday, May 29, 2009
It's a no. N as i've promised myself i shall nt argue, i didn't. But still, i can't control my tear ducts. Should have learnt fr old man. Actually inside, i still feel unfair. This 1/2, ppl went jpn, US.. i cannt go malaysia becos of presentation, i have to live with it. Nxt sem, i planned for nth to do on tht wk, have no presentation too, they say they want to standardise this sem no taking of leaves..wad the... so even if nth to do i have to stay.. last sem i couldn't speak, didn't want to drag ppl down cos i guess i know hw it feels nt to be able to go whr u want to.. but this time..like seriously.. wad the hell.. other ppl can n i cannt.. is this fair anot.. i'm from the 1st batch n nw want to standardise the 2nd batch then count me in too.. i'm nt like gg anywhr far..juz a bridge across? "Nvm.." it's always the words tht are forced to come out from my mouth nt from my heart.. I dun wanna drag superwoman down anymore too.. everytime trouble her only.. stupid "upper" class.. so wad if u have higher authority.. It's ok. Fine. Wadeva. Anything. i juz need to vent out my frustrations. If i have to kp gg on n on feeling being treated injustly i dun think i will be able to live until today. Maybe i juz have to live with it. Sorry to cry in front of u again, superwoman. Didn't meant to mk u feel bad. Thot i could control. But it should be my duty as a student to stay back too so dun worry, i'm fine. It's juz tht moment of disappointment tht made me cry. But at least i did as i promise, accept wad the verdict is n no more arguements.
Cycled to the old place for the nite.. lay on my back with nth in my head.. juz the breeze n the splash of the tides.. felt aslp soon.. felt a whole lot better when i woke up.. i dunno whr will my limit be reach but so far this kinda treat still works well in taking away sadness.. sometimes i ask myself wad if this dun work alr? But it's better than nth rite.. Cannt go jerangkang then go "jerangan" also nt bad rite? In my dreams..
| a simple day. 5/29/2009 09:30:00 AM
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Thursday, May 28, 2009
Woke up by 2 consequtive nightmares.. though it's juz only 4 hrs slp.. the 1st was a fren suddenly came to tell me she has only 3 days left to live after she return fr japan becos gg to japan is her biggest wish so she went there to fulfil it. But after telling me she juz disappeared.. n i woke up.. fell back to slp again n this time, i dreamt tht my bestie old man telling me he dun want to see me again though i dunno wad happened to mk him say tht.. i juz kp asking the reason but there wasn't any reply..then wise man came to tell me i am removed fr the club.. i asked him y but wasn't given any either.. i awaken in tears asking myself is this a dream? Then i rmb dragonfly's gdye hug yesterday nite.. so it was all an illusion after all.. Heave a sigh of relieve.. though i still wonder wad does the dream means?
| a simple day. 5/28/2009 10:46:00 AM
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Yesterday i was happy. Yes, was. Went down to learn swimming fr wise man. Reached clubrm early so went to learn free-style fr old man 1st. After a while, jon, fufu, nad n wise man came n they started to learn rolling in the kayak. Initially i felt redundant there n a bit dunno wad to do. Or rather scared to even touch the kayak. Cos actually yesterday's slot was for 4 ppl n it was full alr.. wise man said i have to wait for the nxt batch but b4 i graduate. I know tht n i'm juz down there to see n swim n play only.. but after a while, wise man begin to teach us swimming..starting from frog-style.. n i begin to find myself fitting in.. wise man very zai.. can teach both sides at the same time.. after he finished teaching us frog-style n split start, he went to teach nad rolling w/ paddle 1 to 1 n asked me to "teach" fufu n old man wad he taught us. I dun really noe hw to teach so juz repeat wad he taught us. Luckily jon was there to help me.. Had fun playing the water war game.. Me "ride" fufu n nad "ride" old man then me n nad started to try pushing each other off their shoulders. Fufu team won =) Then we played with balls of water, smacking them in the air at each other.. The day ended happy =)
Today..i promise nt to show my stupid attitude.. it didn't came out.. at least nt in front of u.. was "happi" tht at least i succeeded nt to emo.. i let secret pal listen to a song tht i thot was very beautiful..a song fr "A Moment to Remember" yet after listening he said tht song whr gt nice? Taufu said he want to slp alr.. But still, i find it very soothing to the ears.. isit becos they nvr seen the movie b4 so they dunno the meaning behind this painful song? Or isit becos of what i'm feeling nw tht mks the song so close to my heart? If only i could tk the place of Su-jin.. she shouldn't be the 1 4gtting the man she love as he had loved her so much n still do even when she 4gts him.. Alzhemir's.. it's the only way of 4gtting yet nt hurting urself i guess.. but it's a selfish disease also..cos it hurts the ppl ard u.. tau huey repeatedly reminded me to 4gt but everytime i fail to do so..
A msg yy sent to me in chinese:
When u are happy, i will walk with you. So there will be 4 foot steps in the sand.
When u are sad i will carry you. Hence, there will only be 2 foot steps in the sand.
So don't be sad cos i will be very tired everytime u are sad.
But everytime i'm happy who are the ones who walked with me? When I'm sad, who are the 1s who carried me mentally? In my memory, there's lifeguard, tau huey, secret pal, dragonfly, pooh, ll even superwoman.. Yet I'm nt sure whether i did tht for them anot. Frens are nt there for u to look for only when u need a shoulder to cry on.. This is repeated in my heart. Yet I'm nt sure i do tht to them anot.
Sths are juz nt meant to be n i dunno y i can be such a stubborn-headed gal.. i was laughing out loud yet crying in the heart.. when saw/heard/felt things ard me happening i knew it's time for me to walk away again.. the only thing i could do is to smile n think of the happi times tht may nvr come back again.. A phrase tht i saw sometime ago,"I miss u the most when u are smiling n i know it's not for me." Sounds like a selfish, possessive phrase to me initially.. but after today, guess i understand the gist of it nw, the smile is different.
An MV of "A Moment to Remember"
A Moment to Rmb - Please Forget Me
| a simple day. 5/28/2009 01:39:00 AM
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Stress, stress, stress..every1 is under a lot of pressure recently.. finally get to see secret pal yesterday.. he look different.. partially becos of his shortened hair which i regreted on commenting tht it was long.. think he look better wif it long.. haha.. n partially becos this is the 1st time i hear him say, "Cannt cope alr.." He always appear to be relax relax 1 no matter hw tough situation was.. juz tht a few pimples will pop up on his face.. When the ship reaches the harbour it will straighten by itself.. so dun worry so much.. anyway studies should always come 1st.. dun repeat my mistakes.. if u r seeing this, gd luck for ur tests this n nxt wed =)
Stone in the lib for 5 hrs yesterday.. to draw out a plan of wad i'm gonna do for the nxt 3 mths.. should have finish it during fri, sat n sun but i couldn't cos everyday reach home = slp.. had a lot of activities this wkend so.. yup..but i enjoyed them =) Manage to finish my plan though still need some amendments.. crossing my fingers tht though the "upper class" dun like me pls dun deprive my chance of gg for exp... want to "revenge" wait till i'm in singapore can? PLSSSS!!! It's ok.. lifeguard said the verdict is still nt pass down yet so still gt chance though i know myself chances are slim.. But i'm happy at least for yesterday cos at least i gt a direction of wad i'm gonna do the nxt 3 mths.. drawing out a plan wasn't tht difficult after all.. juz a bit confuse abt the microbial testings.. Wish me luck for the nxt 1/2 of FYP.. so gonna miss my FYP mates when they r off for attachments..
| a simple day. 5/26/2009 11:49:00 AM
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Sunday, May 24, 2009
No time to blog the past few days..alot of happenings during these few days.. thu was a gd day for me though.. thot i would have lost 2 frens 4eva.. agree tht "sorry" is a very simple yet complex word to say.. it's always pride tht stops ppl fr saying it yet it's nt the case for me cos i know i'm in the wrg.. juz tht i can't guarantee i won't mk the mistake again so didn't want to mk empty promises to ppl then mk them disappointed in me again. But some1 told me no matter wad, an apology tells ppl u r remorseful..n after much thinking, i can promise myself tht this wun happen again.. n..somehw, i juz feel tht i'm nt treating my frens rite.. am i always treating the rite person wrong n the wrong person rite? I dunno.. my heart tells me i'm guilty towards the frens ard me yet sometimes it juz does wad it wants.. i dun want these "sometimes" to happen again.. no more planes n space shuttles..
Thu, also went for a run with dragonfly at her hse area.. it's a new yet familiar route cos we've been there during 1/2 island hike last yr.. i like to run with dragonfly..very comfortable to run with her..we juz chat while we jogged.. it's actually a "training" for this wkend's sundown.. both of us haven been really training n as the race date draws closer, i'm starting to get butterflies in my stomach again.. dragonfly still say, "Nvm, we juz drink n eat bananas all the way.." Haha.. dunno.. but dun think we should be scared cos at least we know we will be there supporting each other along the way.. after the run we went downstairs to eat dinner tgt.. the fishall mee pok damn shiok..jus tht everytime after runs i can't seem to eat much..so wasn't able to finish.. guess all i need is water.. so me n qy exchange our bowls..the ice kacang was satisfying =)
Fri, went to crocs sales early morning wif lifeguard, tau huey n taufu =) Thanks to taufu tht we dun have to wait for very long to go in.. manage to get the last pair of off road orange crocs..was so happy cos tht's the last pair in singapore n miracously it fitted me =) Used to dun like crocs cos the holes reminded me of the toilet cover's holes.. it's wise man who influenced me to like crocs cos saw him wearing crocs n walking so easily on the rocks of jerangkang last yr june.. after tht went to NLB to look for info on shelf-life testing. Then came back to sch. Had a last training b4 rp race wif "old man" n yy. Then a "sharing" session. Juz sit at the fitness corner n talk. I'm nt fit in a lot of ways. "old man" say i can run but i dunno hw to breathe during run.. i cannt do pull ups, nt even inclined pull ups.. i cannt do sbj too.. sometimes i wonder wad can i do.. Dunno y for the last 3 races (safra, vjc n SMU) I can't slp n will start typing rubbish in my blog..talk alot.. but this time, i fell aslp ard 11 plus.. woken up by a call then went back to slp again.. didn't even pack my bag for the nxt day till the nxt morning..
Sat, came the "big" day.. at least for me, every adv race is a big day.. Woken up by "old man"'s call at 5.13am.. then "oh no".. I'm only left wif 17mins to wash up n pack bag.. late for ard 10mins.. walked to hougang interchange wif "old man" n bought breakfast there..n becos of my butter n kaya toast we missed 1 161.. had breakfast on bus "secretly" at the 2nd lvl back seats of 161..if nt the breakfast would have cost us $1000.. haha.. should have known "old man" cannt tk dairy fd in the morning..nxt time no more ok? Promise.. We were a bit too early so missed yy's bustop n went straight to woodlands bus interchange.. along the bus ride saw beautiful sky ard buangkok area..also see nice sunrise at woodlands interchange..jalan x 2 while waiting for yy to reach.. walked to rp n along the way we saw cp 2.. their helpers were using gps to plot the navigation cp.. met up wif kama, min, helmi, char, qy n fufu then it's the usual routine - registration, body mark n bag deposit. The race started w/o warning n suddenly i find myself running alr..cp 1a to f are all urban navigations, we were reading storylines, finding out which blks to go, doing maths questions. Cp 2 was precise navigation, back at rp. Stuck there for quite some time. Duathalon was the next. 1 bike for 3 runners. Took turns to run n bike. Then was out and over the hills cos it was a shortcut. Caught up wif kama's team there. Did rope ascension there then went into a short jungle trail. We were walking by then. It started to rain n we were stopped at Shell stations n a bustop consequetively.. didn't manage to complete this race cos it was thundering n raining very heavily..
A small debrief of this race for myself.. For this race, i am quite disappointed..wif myself.. should have known tht arguing during a race is a taboo.. shouldn't have treat yy like a kid.. chided her for being stubborn but come to think of it, i do so myself at times n i myself dun like to be treated like a kid so what rite do i have to say others.. but nw i've come to realise tht it's very frustrating to see ur fren nt tking care of themselves when ppl kp telling them to.. dun wanna regret tht when u can do sth abt it n u juz let it be.. see sth wrg muz look into it.. dun wait until when sorry really no cure then feel sorry.. it's really too late to apologise then.. another theory taught to me recently.. disappointed wif myself also cos i'm quite useless in this race.. dun think i did anything to even deserve the finisher medal.. the only thing tht i'm happy abt is can talk to "old man" very freely again.. actually a few days back was alr ok..i dun find him a stranger anymore.. sometimes i juz hope the races can last 4eva.. nice moments are always so short though it is this "shortness" tht mks it more memorable n precious..
Sun, wake up early morning again..we muz have been mad to join passion run the nxt day rite after rp race.. wake up at 5am to reply taufu's msg then fell back to slp..wake up at 5.48am n "oh no.." again.. suppose to flag off at 7.10am.. die.. still we said to run the race tgt so thanx to lifeguard, taufu n tau huey for waiting for me.. we jogged the 1st 2plus km then stopped to walk alr cos lifeguard's quarts n my arch were hurting alot.. taufu went ahead cos he's the only 1 running 15km whereas tau huey walked wif us.. talk n joke along the way.. fun + lepak all the way..this is the 1st run i'm walking lidat.. haha..juz drink n walk n talk.. msgg taufu at the same time to see where he run to alr.. waited for him at our turning point then jogged to the end.. Went to makan at the ecp lagoon then bathe with clothes on cos their shower is outdoors 1..went home to put bags wash clothes then came out again for dinner n movie.. saw yc, wise man, rafi, nash, noh, faris, min, nadiah, hijau etc at their finishing point of x-physique.. 1 of our teams won 1st prize in their category! Was so happy for them =) Nvr seen them so happy b4 esp min n noh.. I still rmb hearing min say, "I gt a new watch!" Then noh say,"I gt my 1st watch!" N wise man kp saying their grp "kelong"..haha.. he's juz joking lah..cos this race is a test of their techniques nt n their ability to run as the time is stopped while they are on their way fr cp to cp n only starts when they start doing the cp's activities.. well done adcians =) so so happy for them..
After tht went to meet lifeguard n tau huey again.. thanx lots for letting me tag along for the movie n still treating me as a fren.. think i'm quite troublesome for u all to brg me out but still u all nvr leave me behind.. the movie was great so was the dinner but the greatest thing is to be ard u guys.. should learn to treasure my frens more n treat them better cos i think i dun treat them gd enuff..
| a simple day. 5/24/2009 11:18:00 PM
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Today. Completed another 10km. 6 rounds ard sch + 1 rd ard track. Yesterday was 1hr 7 mins 54 sec. 2day was 1hr 7 mins 35 secs. Last run - suburban was also 1hr 7mins. No improvement. But on account tht i didn't really train very hard the last few wks no deprove should be quite happy alr.. Y the sudden urge to run everyday again..cos we saw Jerome running in sch on sat morning during SU camp n lifeguard made a comment, "They like 1 day nvr run will die lidat.." i was reminded the days i had my track training. Though our training days are 1,3,5, i still made it a point to run everyday.. even if i have to wake up at 4 plus to run i will do so..but nw, i find no time to run.. n i ask myself y did i slack so much? no time is juz an excuse. no motivation cannt be since so many races are coming up n i'm joining them.. so started my routine again though this time i''m gonna tk it ez n nt force myself to go on if cannt cos tht's wad made me hated running last time..can't believe it rite? i used to hate running but still hafta force myself to kp on running.. it's the pressure tht kps me away fr it..nw it's the races then brg me back to love it.. found a lot of songs tht kp me motivated while running.. 1 of which is an old song i dugged up fr 1 of my old cds..
Uncle当自强's theme song - 其实我不平凡.. it's nt those type of cheesy love songs we hear often but a motivating song tht kps ppl gg when they face challenges in life..to nt be afriad but kp on challenging urself to reach greater heights.. using ur passion to achieve ur dreams.. can't believe i've repeated this song almost 20 times while i run n abt 9 times on my way to sch.. if interested can ask me for the song =)
Watch a lot of movies recently..all korean movies though.. it's nt as cliche as i thot they would be.. n i'm surprise tht i actually like them when i used to think it's ridiculous to cry over korean movies as ppl had stereotype them.. 1 of the movie is called "The Classic". Talks abt the love story of a gal of gd family background who falls in love with a poor kampong guy and the continuation of their love in their next generation. 1 of the phrase tht i rmb was, "Kp quiet, if u hear ur heart beats, the 1 u love is loving u too. Look out of the window, if the branches are swaying, the 1 u love is loving u too. Close ur eyes, if u r smiling, the 1 u love is loving u too."
Next is a more meaningful story. A Moment to Remember. Also starring Sun Yi Zhen. It's actually quite similar to A Walk to Remember. The movie commence with a hilarious story of hw the guy n the gal met n hw they overcome the main obstacle in their romance - status difference. Soon after their marriage, the gal discover her husband's "secret" - tht he was abandoned by his mum since young n he hated her to the core. Having heard of his success, his mum came back to ask him for money to repay loan sharks if not she will have to go to jail. However, the guy reserved the money for a dream house tht he promised his wife n he sees no reason y he should break his promise to some1 who loves him for some1 so-called his family who had betrayed him. His wife enlightened him, saying, "To forgive is actually juz to give hate a little room in your heart." N the guy finally forgave his mum. Then came the worst part. The gal discovered tht she had Alzheimer's disease - a disease tht will slowly lead her to forget everything n every1 even the 1 she loves. 1 of the touching scene is when she disappeared n the guy found her at the batting ground (their common place), she told him to 4gt her cos she will 4gt him sooner or later n what's the use of loving her when she will 4gt everything he had done for her. The guy said,"Then let me remember everything for u." Tht's the sweetest thing in the world. The most heartbreaking scene was when the gal said "I love you" to the guy, yet calling her ex-lover's name cos her memory had deteoriated. The guy was wondering so who does she actually love. At times, the gal suddenly rmb she had said those words to her husband, she cried n left their home, leaving a letter behind telling him he is the 1 n only 1 she will ever love. She muz write those down b4 she 4gts. It's becos of her forgetfulness tht they have met n yet it's her forgetfulness tht made her leave him as she no longer wants to drag him down. Really have to watch the movie urself to feel the love between them.
3rd movie, How to Keep My love. It's abt a couple who had gone through 7 yrs of relationship till 1 day a beautiful female actress came in between them. The guy was touched by the actress n his fiancee could see tht. She began doing a lot of stupid things, saying a lot of words hurting her friends thinking tht she can kp her bf. Yet her bf told her, "Y r u always hanging onto me? I want u to be able to stand alone.. All these 7 yrs all u have being doing is waiting.. If u want love, ask for it confidently. Ask urself what do u really want? " The gal finally understands what he means. She gets on with her life. Found a proper job and finds tht actually she dun need to depend on him anymore. She used to hang onto him cos she thinks tht he is some1 sent to her by her father who had passed away. In the end, the guy did nt leave the gal cos he found tht he's afraid of losing her. He found her standing in the rain waiting for him again n asked her y r u waiting for me? N the gal replied,"Becos i knew u will come." The last phrase of the movie which i think makes sense : Beautiful women do make men swoon and other women trembles. But true love always keeps the faith.
Kk, enough of those movie reviews..bedtime for nw.. nitez.
| a simple day. 5/20/2009 12:46:00 AM
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I have no time..or rather no mood to blog lately.. went to SU camp this wkend.. it somehw made me miss ADC's camp even more.. miss the ppl in it even more.. was so happy to see them again on the 2nd day.. amazing races, nite walks, wet games, "indian" cheers..thank god gt char n taufu in the camp wif me..
No progress on my tries.. i still feel weird. Nt able to face u properly when talking (if we ever do talk like we used to..). Maybe things will change after this sat? For the better..hope so.. Didn't ask u abt sth earlier partially maybe becos i'm afraid to hear the answer.. i dunno myself too..want to know the answer yet scared to know the answer.. it's alwaes lidat.. sometimes really feel like digging out my heart to ask it wad does it want..face to face battle.. so tht i can better control it rather than it control me.. u say b4 do things base on what u should do n nt wad ur feeling tells u to.. i couldn't mk it last time..not to say nw.. maybe 10 yrs down the rd i'm still lidat.. cos i'm nt smart enuff to change.
Let some1 down also today.. dun ask me out for dinner again.. dun wish to see me again.. is this for real? Are we not frens anymore? Sori is all i can say yet have no rite to say cos history repeats itself time after time.. nw i dunno..really dunno...dunno dunno dunno dunno..
I wonder how, i wonder y, i wonder where they are..The days we had, the songs we sang together..
| a simple day. 5/19/2009 01:11:00 AM
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Monday, May 11, 2009
Went for Rp's race clinic on wed.. was quite excited to learn juma but didn't expect it to not be the real juma..but at least learn hw to use the new gadget.. n made some new frens fr there.. finally get to talk to the person's blog i've been reading..cos her photo shots on her blog were real nice.. rp is really very nice at nite..very nice to walk..esp the teardrop in the middle of the pond. It's a pity we didn't get to catch the sunset at rp..maybe nxt time i hope..
Fri was the 1st day of our orientation camp.. was very excited cos it's been a long time since i last had camp w/ adcians.. i kp talking n talking n talking until even min cannt tahan me alr..yea..min is my partner for this camp.. my 4eva secret pal =) He became more talkative n open alr (since berkelah 08') I like the "now" him better..though i also like the past quiet him.. =) I like my team too..they r a bunch of very frenly n interactive ppl..mix ard very soon n nt kp to their own..except for 1 tht scare us on the 1st nite.. coincidently, i'm the trainer of jiamin's team =) Very happy cos nvr go to expedition or camp w/ her b4.. at nite we slpt at the dome there..didn't catch much slp though cos cannt mk myself slp so read fufu's notes as i was abt to return him alr..listen to music..secret pal also cannt slp cos he have to study for his quiz on mon..after a while secret pal went to slp but i still cannt slp..too many things to think but my mind is only this small.. so fold starz fold until slp.. after a while, thunder came..drizzle started..the campers were evacuate into the sch building..luckily the rain didn't last long..at least nt until the time we need to set off for ubin.. Amazing race started in ubin..1st time being a station master.. abit nervous cos dunno hw to mk the game fun.. nt sure if ppl will enjoy my station anot.. but after 1 or 2 teams had come to my station i gt the hang of it alr n begin to relax.. after tht came the coconut cracking, mking of jungle bread n bamboo rice.. then campfire.. this is the part of the camp i enjoyed most i guess..dunno y campfire always have an effect on me..like to see the burning flames in the dark..dunno y the flames always touches me.. it reminds me of the camp i had when i was in sngs npcc n the scene of us singing "Pass it on"..a very nice campfire song. Sun morning came back to sch for station games. Love Fufu's station most..um, uh, um, uh..damn fun.. did sth mk lifeguard angry..swear i will not let my playfulness over rule if i know it would cost me a few hrs of ur frenship.. it's until then my "i dun fren u alr" takes effect on myself..it's until then i realise "i dun fren u alr" cannt anyhow use 1..dun like the feeling of losing a close fren.. luckily everything's fine again after dinner..i swear this shall, will, cannot happen again..confirm, chop plus guarantee..
These are only the gd sides of the camp..a lot of things had happened..still, a failure is a success when lessons are learnt fr it.. For this camp, i feel very useless..dunno y i juz feel very useless.. at times i want to ask how can i help but scared ppl dun like me to ask too much.. at times i dunno wad i can do for ppl..at times i need to remind myself tht i'm a trainer for this camp so leave all feelings aside , smile n be enthu.. i dunno if i did a really bad job for this camp..but at least i didn't fall slp throughout it.. dunno if i have mention b4, some1 told me no matter hw tired u r u have to hold ur head up during briefings and debriefs.. this is call respect.. ppl spent time to plan for events, to think of wad to say, it is very discouraging and annoying to see ppl, even 1 of them to be slping at ur efforts.. tht's a long long time ago an "old" man told me..
Yesterday, end of camp..said a lot of things i shouldn't say, asked sths tht i shouldn't ask..did things tht i shouldn't do. Maybe ur rite..it's nt u tht have changed but me.. dunno y i kp finding myself dodging ur eyes.. dunno when i start avoiding u.. dunno y i start to feel tht u r becoming more n more like a stranger to me.. i guess it's all my mind playing mind games with me.. suddenly miss the times we can anyhw talk anyhw play anyhw joke.. juz anyhow only.. dunnid to care abt anything.. dunnid to scared to ask u things.. will try to "mk frens" with u again fr today.. meanwhile will u stay n put up with my stupid attitude if it shows up again?
你曾说雨下的时候别低下头，要等候奇迹降落。
我不懂曾说一起拥抱的彩虹为什么只剩下我。
原来爱情是不会留下什么 只留下残缺的我
能不能再把你的爱借点给我，好让我继续漂流
| a simple day. 5/11/2009 05:59:00 PM
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Thursday, May 7, 2009
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| a simple day. 5/07/2009 11:02:00 PM
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Monday, May 4, 2009
Quite a lot of things happened during these few days..shall update 1 by 1..
Fri, went nite cycling wif qy, andies, kaiboon, pk n missies..it's been quite some time since i am able to go nite cycling due to the events gg on sats.. hols like such are hard to come by.. started cycling ard 8pm.. the park wasn't cycle frenly..as expected..there were many ppl.. at 1 of the turning a boy cycle straight into me while me n qy were talking..he was on the wrg lane coming my way n i didn't noe which way to turn, left or right..in the end we crashed..luckily no1 was hurt..after tht i gt a bit phobia of ppl cycling straight at me alr..maybe juz tht nite..cos it's really a lot of ppl.. anyway, i gt another minor "accident" which surprising was at a rd wif nt many ppl..haha.. dunnid to explain in full details..juz wanna emphasize the importance of brgg a 1st aid kit.. actually was alr thinking whether to brg my own 1st aid kit cos dunno wad accidents may happen wif a large grp..in the end gave up brgg cos can't stuff everything into the ocbc bag plus thot it was only all the way in the park wun have any accidents 1.. shouldn't have been too confident abt tht.. luckily kaiboon brought his 1st aid kit n really muz thank qy for attending to my knee..actually, other than the pain, i think this fall is a blessing..cos i've nvr seen nurses attending to real bleeding or wounds closely b4.. n i also dun wanna see any1 i noe lidat *touchwood* yessa! Nw get to see the procedure itself =D then nxt time, *touchwood* i wun be scared or nt confident of applying the skills to other ppl myself =)
We continued riding..the pain subsided..maybe becos i'm constantly moving? Or maybe becos we were singing? Or maybe becos i'm juz plain happy? Anyway..yup..enjoyed myself for the whole trip.. 1 song kp coming into my mind when secret pal started singing a country song..if i'm nt wrg is "Country Road".. I was then reminded of the song "100 miles"..think it was 1 of the songs i was taught during music lesson in pri sch.. It goes:
If u see the train i'm on, u will know tht i am gone.
U can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.
A hundred miles, a hundred miles,
A hundred miles, a hundred miles.
U can hear the whistle blow a hundrd miles.
Lord I'm 1, Lord, I'm 2
Lord i'm 3, Lord i'm 4
Lord I'm 5 a hundred miles away fr home.
Away fr home, away fr home,
away fr home, away fr home.
Lord I'm 5 a hundred miles away fr home.
Not a shirt on my back, not a penny to my name
Lord I can't go back home this a way
This a way, this a way
This a way, this a way
Lord I can't go back home this a way
It's a very nice n simple song. =)
Soon, we reached our 1st checkpoint, changi village. Of course, other than ah nam seafood there's other fd stalls tht we can and want to chk them out. We had international nasi lemak tht nite plus sugarcane drink -> credits to pk =) Had nvr tried b4 their nasi lemak n i used to dun like nasi lemaks 1..but i guess i'm beginning to love it.. Cos now everytime i eat nasi lemak is wif ADCians..synergy II me n elynn n our volunteers TA our pkts to paddle lodge. OC recce had nasi lemak at changi village wif aslam, mr wilfred, pk, yeye etc. This time also wif qy, andies, pk, kaiboon n missies =) After tht we went to see ahem..transxxxx..dunno hw they say in hokkien.. then we headed to OCH..been there once..went in then gt caught..this time we also nvr go in..initially i really gt the urge /want to go in to see..but then..sth tells me nt to go in.. nt wad u all imagine but juz felt tht we shouldn't go in..after tht we cycled back n pk teach us hw to secure hammocks on poles at the shelter.. Had fun sitting in it..have nvr sat, nt to say slp, in a hammock b4.. It's comfy.. sat on groundsheets to play card games, went to pasir ris to see red hse, came back to changi village to talk a while then slp..the morning we woke up was cold..or maybe it's a hint tht it's gg to rain..Till the changi coastal runway, the clouds gave way n the drizzle turned into a downpour..a short 1 n a gd 1 too cos the air smelt a lot fresher =) Enjoyed the ride back to ecp..caught the sun while looking back ard area D of ecp.. enjoyed the breeze.. =) Soon we were at mac eating our long awaited breakfast.. then home sweet home.. It's really different, cycling alone when it's only u, ur heart n ur mind..the only time u can reflect on the things u've done, good or bad..at leaast tht is true for me..also enjoy the accompany of this bunch of frens, esp my race partner.. really treasure the moments though i kept quiet most of the time.. it's a long time since we've cycled tgt..other than during races.. wonder when will the nxt be or will there even be a nxt..but i'm contented..really happy tht day =)
Went to see a movie on sat. 252- life signal. The number tells us "There are survivors." It's a code used in japan to tell life savers tht there are still survivors underground. In this movie, Japan was hit by a typhoon in which Yuji, a previous life saver was trapped in the underground tunnel with his daughter, Shiori, and 3 other survivals. 1 of the part tht is very meaningful is the part where Yuji passed Shiori her bdae present tht he promised her. But Shoiri didn't open it n signal tht she will open the present when they are safely out in the open sun. Yuji then said to her, "Stay strong till help comes." It's juz like giving herself n her dad sth to look 4ward to, tht they muz live to see the sunlight again. N when the tunnel suddenly starts to collapse w/n n Yuji was trying to gather all of them to a safe place, Shiori rmb tht she left her gift behind n went back for it. The ceiling collapse on her. Yuji was devastated n kp asking to be take away too. When he was almost losing hope tht her daughter is still alive, 1 of the suvivor heard the knocks of 2, 5, 2 repeatedly coming fr the rubbies n collapsed walls. Yuji regained hope n dugged for his daughter frantically. When he finally dugged his way in near the knocks, he saw Shiori's hands holding onto the crystal he gave her as her bdae present and knocking it against a fallen pillar. He immediately grabbed her hands to assure her tht she is in safe hands again. Yuji muz have felt relieved to be able to grab Shiori's warm hands again. Another phrase tht left a deep impression in my mind is when the head of the rescue team refuses to let the rescuers continue their search due the possible dangers, Yuji's wife begged Yuji's brother, 1 of the rescuers, to save her family. She used to dislike Yuji's job as a rescuer herself for fear of losing him any moment. But now, in the position of the casualties' family, she knows tht these rescuers are their only hope left. Coming to the end of the movie, when they were all found n ready to be brought to surface again, when every1 thot everything is fine again, the weather took a sudden change n the ground caved in leaving Yuji n 1 of his ex-colleague inside. Shiori, who doesn't have the ability to hear and talk, knows tht her dad may be dead, cried out repeatedly for her father. The story has too many ups n down to mention all here. I guess i muz have let out a lot of spoilers alr.. the ending u have to see it for urselves.. "Rainbow is a convenant fr god tht no matter how bad the storm, there will come a better day." This phrase was what i previously read in 1 of the bible story after the 40 days of rain tht wipe out the world. The rainbow is a promise God gave Noah n his ppl tht he will not wipe out the earth with such storm again. This phrase is further reinforce in this movie. I guess tht explains y the scriptwriter wrote the gift fr Yuji to Shiori as a crystal (cos if a crystal is place under sunlight, u can see a rainbow fr it ) n tht was the 1st thing tht Shiori showed her mum when she was rescued out.
Another movie tht i've watch online recently, 10 promises to my dog. Another moving story tht talks about the friendship between a dog, Socks, and her owner, Akiri. Akiri had a loving home till 1 day her mum fell sick. Her mum know her days are numbered and didn't want Akiri to feel alone growing up. And so, she found a puppy for Akiri. Akiri found the puppy in her backyard 1 day and so kept it as her pet. Her mum named the pup Socks due to the colour of its paws and told Akiri about the 10 promises she has to mk to the pup b4 she is entitled to kp her.
10 promises to my dog:
1. Listen patiently to what i have to say.
2. Trust me, I am always on your side.
3. Play with me a lot.
4. Don't forget that I have feelings too.
5. Let's never fight, someday I'll win. =)
6. If I don't obey you, I have a good reason.
7. You have sch and frens, but as for me, I only have you.
8. Stay my best fren even when i'm old.
9. I'll only live for about 10 yrs, so let's mk every moment count.
10. Don't forget the times we were together, so when my time comes, please be by my side.
Akiri's mum gt hospitalised a second time and nvr get to come back again. N true enuff, Socks took the place of her to tk care of Akiri, accompanying her when she is lonely, bored or troubled as her dad was always on duty neglecting her. As Akiri grew up into adulthood, she begin to find having a dog is very confining. But still, Socks is always by her side when she needed her. She again heals the heart of Akiri's best friend, Hoshi, regaining his confidence in playing guitar again after a car accident tht caused his hands to lose agility in the skills tht took him yrs to master. Akiri then realise tht even though she had grown further fr Socks, and scolded her at times, Socks is still there for her. She was reminded of the 10 promises she had made to her mum n Socks 10 yrs ago when her dad brought out a "comic" her mum had drawn while she was alive. And tht was also when she realise tht she had not kept all the promises she had made to Socks while Socks did, how quickly 10 yrs had actually past by and how much more things she had to tell Socks. Dogs are really healing creatures. They are even more human than human at times. 10 promises. They are the best things 2 friends can share between themselves too, i guess.
This post too long alr..becoming more like a movie review.. haha.. till then =)
| a simple day. 5/04/2009 12:16:00 PM
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