i just want ...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Long time no update..partly cos no time, n secondly no feeling to blog here..cos this blog is pretty..haha..so nt gg to write in it unless have sth happy to write abt..well..feel myself getting weirder n weirder..cos actually i dun want to be tht noisy n talkative at times..but i find myself juzkp on talking n talking non-stop..then i start to find myself irrtating..very...but juz cannt help talking rubbish...haiz..sometimes really wanna scotch tape up my mouth..i noe cos some ppl nt very close with me so they bu hao yi si to call me to shut up..but it's really ok de..if u find me too noisy rite, juz call me to shut up..i will take tht as a reminder..cos i can't do it myself..no offence ^^

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It's amazing how u can miss some1 so much when u actually see them almost everyday..maybe it's the chats i miss..or maybe it's the activities we participated during hols..now it's lyk though ya we meet 1 another in sch but we dun tok much n i kinda miss those days which we can anyhow anyhow come out..haha..stupid me rite? But ya..this is realilty ba i guess..we can't have hols all the yr throughout n if we go out lyk everyday i guess the days tht we are able to go out wun be treasured as much...maybe i'm too easily get used to certain things n once i lose it will feel quite terrible inside...but after the chat wif LL yesterday, i guess i hafta believe tht true frens will always remain true even if u dun meet everiday, dun chat often, even if u live far apart, they will still remain. So there's nth to be sad abt.."Love is accepting a person 4 wad he is.." It's written on a notebk i've bought to record down things at meetings..I quite lyk the phrase..n i believe in it..haha..recently have been addicted to this song which really speaks wad i have in mind to my 4 special frens:

i have you to be with everything will be easy

晒的阳光淋的雨滴都值得回忆

i have you to be with 才懂心不够近才怕距离

心电感应绝不断讯会如影随形

曾灰心以为我来错了世界

太多想法很另类找不到人了解

当我说的感觉牵动着你的脸

互动的泪让我们变得特别

你是我的魔力想要勇敢就想你

一眨眼睛把不如意都变成流星

你是我的魔力心情不好我就想你

删除忧郁复制甜蜜笑容不结冰

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A lot a lot oof things happened during these few wks...went to STONG on 6th Oct, came back on 11th oct (will write more abt it in a single post..tht 1 too long n memorable =p) then volunteered for dusk to dawn, an adventure race in np, with my adc frens...We were distributed to 3 different locations..WN, Melvin, Elynn, Min and Eddry were on top of the rope ladder obstacle n Char, Kama, Zul n me were at the bottom assisting the participants to climb up the rope ladder which was swaying anyhow..haha..tough job for them to get up but in the end the participants still cleared it quite fast..Zul was voted by majority..erm..no..is ALL of us to be the crowd controller cos of his past "achievements" =p Hehex..n we didn't regret our decision cos he's indeed a VERY gd crowd controller! Shout loud, organised...seriously, i've nvr see him so serious b4..haha..a diff side of zul surfaced..char tk 1st n 2nd n kama 4th n 5th..i tk only lane 3..think i dun haf the capability to lk after 2 lanes ba..i can only concentrate on 1 n luckily i did..(Emphasize: I DIDN'T FALL ASLP AT CP2 !!! ) After cp2, we were transported to the end point where we are relocated to another cp..n ok..i fall aslp there..was damn tired alr by then n though i kp telling myself nt to sleep but it doesn't seem to work..luckily the lives of the participants are nt in my hands..i only record their time in time out n sign for them but in the end char did those for me..haiz..paiseh..the whole adventure race ended at ard 7 plus..n we had mee goreng n beehoon goreng for breakfast..though damn tired but still hafta go collect the great eastern women's race pack..so we took their lorry out to i 4gt which mrt n me n WN went to eat doughnuts..haha..n drink coffee..at J.CO cos their morning coffee set quite worth it..n their doughnuts are quite nice too..lyk the tiramisu n the cheese 1s..we sat there chatting for quite a long time..dunno y i always can juz go on chatting very long with WN..though maybe we dun see each other tht often alr..nt lyk last time can anyhw see her in sch..maybe there's such thing call fate which i dun believe in last time..nw i believe..cos some frens, even if we 2 juz find a place to sit down n have a cup of coffee, silence wun kill n wun cause awkwardness to both..cause both r comfortable with each others' company and we noe we wun get bored/tired of each other...whereas some frens u juz can't be silent with them cos u r afraid tht 1 moment of silence will cause the other to be bored of u and so u juz kp on thinking of wad to say nxt n usually this doesn't helps too cos this will only mk the atmosphere even more tense n very pressurizing..the feeling is juz nt there..n the thing is..the harder u try to befriend them the more u think it's (the friendship) fabricated n the more they drift away fr u. Wad we've (Wn n me) chatted i 4gt..but juz the presence of a gd friend beside to remind u tht u r nt alone is enuff...no..should say i dun remember..cos when 1 dun remember sth, the memory stills lingers at the back of ur head..but when u 4gt..u simply dun remember..yup..i think tht's the case with me..i dunno y i always kp things at the back of my head..sometimes i noe the reason to certain things but i choose to lie to myself , juz dun want to noe, until some1 or maybe 2, pointed it out then i'm brought back to reality n realise ya..u r a selfish gal..i've always thot i noe the 3 frens, whom i really care hw they feel/think, well. But recently i juz realise tht's nt the case..they nt happy, they tired, they in trouble i also dunno..i everything dunno..but still impose more trouble on them..most probably the trouble i imposed on them equates to the amt of trouble they help me solve..stupid me..n a lot of time i can't be much of help..i think it's better to kp quiet cos i think it's quite fake to ask "r u ok? Need help?" when i can actually contribute nth at all..shuts..i find myself more n more useless everyday..juz read my friend's blog on his friendster n i agree wif him tht sometimes ppl give advice to their friends, they tend to show tht they are wiser than tht person..n make the person feels lyk he/she is a kid n i guess a lot of us dun lyk tht..i've nvr really being able to advise ppl cos i dun think i'm fit to give any at all. It's either i've nt experience their probs at all or i have but i'm also dealing things in the wrg way..so i juz listen..purely listen..but cannt do anything..it's really nt tht i'm indifferent towards ur feeling but it's juz tht i dunno hw to go abt it..haiz..think i only have ears but no brains..but i believe there really are ppl who can give u advice as a fren n nt as if they r trying to act smart..at least i noe of 2 in my sch..maybe taking out the "shoulds" n "don'ts" will mk things sounds friendlier? I dunno..but nvm..i'm always the listener n the problematic 1..wun ever be an advicer..yup..think i "talk" too much again..shall end here 4 nw.."nitez"..

| a simple day. 10/29/2008 04:16:00 AM
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Friday, October 3, 2008

Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought or sold.
But its value is far great than a mountain made of gold.
For gold is cold and lifeless.
It can neither see nor hear,
And in times of trouble,
It is powerless to cheer.
It haas no ears to listen nor heart to understand.
It cannt bring u comfort or reach out a helping hand.
So when you ask god for a gift,
Be thankful if he sends not diamonds, pearls or riches,
But the love of real true friends.

-Some1, somewhere in this earth

| a simple day. 10/03/2008 11:24:00 PM
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